I wrote this little piece after graduating college in 2013. Obviously I was frustrated with the idea that I would need "practical skills." I now find myself standing a bit more in line with the interviewer voice, rather than the interviewee. Funny how we change. I still like that idealism though.
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-- Hello. I would like to apply for a position.
-- You have a degree.
-- I have a degree.
-- Give me applicable skills: _________________
-- Certainly. In spades: Exploring the human condition as expressed through language: the written word.
Better: Identifying and articulating underlying philosophical assumptions in a piece of writing. Deconstruction ala Derrida. Ala Nietzsche.
-- No no no. I mean concrete/practical/applicable/useable skills. I mean give me something identifiable.
Useful. Tell me the life skills you have acquired though your education. You have a degree. Where are the internships. Where is the networking. Give me networking. Give me names give me places.
-- I have a thesis.
-- You have a thesis.
-- I read and researched and wrote. And so I have a clever title and a passionately argued central vision.
-- Thesis schmeesis.
-- An original piece of research on the power of imaginative sympathy in modern environmentalism. I pushed these ideas until 3 am even. I worked very hard. There is a brilliant turn on page 14.
-- Who read the thesis? Who will ever read the thesis. Did anyone read the thesis.
-- . . .
-- No one read the thesis. The thesis does not matter. Give me applicable skills:________________
-- . . .
-- Can you work a copy machine?
-- I graduated with Honors. I have an even better than solid GPA.
-- Are you comfortable on a Mac or PC? Are you at home in Microsoft Office more specifically can you format spreadsheets in Microsoft Excel?
-- . . .
-- Wake up. Head out of the clouds. Come on down. What was your education for?
-- To ask questions.
-- Question: Can you give me applicable skills?:_______________
-- What does it mean to be human?
-- Can you come in on weekends? Are you willing to work the occasional Sunday?
-- Is there an objective reality outside of subjective perception, or is reality subjective perception itself?
-- Are you familiar with Prezi or are you more comfortable with Power Point.
-- And so can we live happy, purposeful lives even after dismissing free will? Do we have to dismiss free will?
-- Let us be honest.
-- I can do that.
-- No no no. Who are you kidding. Honestly. What is your plan. Where are you purposefully headed in the next five years. Where do you see yourself. Imaginatively speaking.
-- I will work hard.
-- You have debt. You have little experience and not very little debt. Write a thesis on how you will pay your debt.
-- I will pay my debt.
-- How.
-- I will get a job. I will use my skills.
-- Give me applicable skills:____________
-- . . .
